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To Love and Fear It

by WAR PARTY

supported by
Josh Perry
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Josh Perry Omg got to see you guys at the library last! Dopest live gig, we were so excited to be able to get a cassette at the show! -Marin Favorite track: Chinese Handcuffs.
Nick Green
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Nick Green A battle cry for 2016-rare for lyrics to match intensity Favorite track: Chinese Handcuffs.
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1.
I'm feeling manic, feeling panic almost every day I'm feeling static, its traumatic--I don't know what to say. It's like I'm busting at the seams right now for you to come on, come on I've got everything I need right now but I could still want some more. I guess it happens every day, the stale taste of routine in disarray. I've got small problems, I can't solve them and its hurting my brain. I'm losing vision, losing witnesses, dismantling my case I got my own judge and jury right now but I can't come on I got the motives and the means right now but I can't come on. I guess it happens every day, you know, the state, the stale taste of routine in disarray. You've gotta let it go as you grow old, you gotta let it go or it takes hold. That parrot talking on your shoulder keeps repeating that "you're getting older" but I can't let go of my youth just yet I've got the axe if you've got the neck I've got the tax if you've got the check I've got the dis if you've got respect the adult world is so inside out I just wanna twist and shout faux nostalgia likes to pout the past is in and the presents out You've got to get me through this maze I'm drunk, I'm timid, I'm mad-- I think i'm going through a phase. I know I'm getting old, the jokes been told I'm scared of getting old--wait, shit I'm on a roll! I gotta let it go?
2.
I was walking through Echo Park got my head shaved in the dark two lips they covered my eyes to love myself like some cheap fuck some punk rock I'd trade my head for two eyes I'd change my name to better fit in the frame A deeper rest, man. So much longer than I refrain. Walking west towards Fairmount Park trying to find some shade in the dark Another pewter night to feast my eyes You can taste the stale scenes of hospital lights in moonbeams where the dogs bark simultaneously with the neighbors' sighs When the party is over and the bars close, what you gonna do kid? Shut puddle people out forever? Are you stoned, are you stupid? Look another white man with something to say A billion lead actors, a billion different plays saying "I don't really wanna live forever/ I don't ever really wanna die" I'm not trying to be clever and I'm not stupid I'm just high When the party is over and the bars close, what you gonna do kid? Shut puddle people out, are you stoned? You're not stupid. Drew a cross in the itchy sand with my ghost. This city left something dirty in my bedroom but i've dealt with politics for much less something else, something costlier to the debt Take away my head, take the stale fumes the costumes and I'll clean the sink with the Force Where am I heading? My heart beats so slowly How much time is left to get to the bar? I'm not trying to play forever, Just a few notes passing by Sometimes what seems a sincere endeavor it just another casual lie. I don't really wanna live forever, I dont ever really wanna die I'm not trying to be clever and I'm not stupid I'm just high.
3.
The Aurelian 02:52
The taste of honey in my mouth The ink is running from the well My spine is a burning Christmas tree Celebrating this worm just earned his wings Aurelian On the beach where we buzz around the kelp rotting through the lesser forms of help well who knew the path to make ends meet and then flew the hive to plant a sting Aurelian O chrysalis, it seems we've got to start all over again There's a tiny little witch in my pocket she's trying to be my best friend Got me singing some Giminy Cricket song with my con-con-conscious calling again and then you wish upon a dying star just to help you bust out of that skin. Aurelian.
4.
Could I get you a bag or a cookie with that? Is there anything else you'd like to take? Am I singing this right? It kept me up all night now I can't seem to stay awake. I've got the money to make it until my next paycheck and the lessons in patience were free Pick up the cards you're dealing and the onions you're peeling Why don't you cry over something real for me? They "press your head to the floor and call it a ceiling"* but you better hang on, on to the feeling You've gotta hang on to the feeling, can't let nobody steal it cause if its the one you've got to hang on to that feeling. It isn't magic who people become in traffic but it sure is distracting from something. You start to feel like the only one, or only important one and that's a problem in your brain. I wonder who worked the pizza place in LA with young Tom Waits and if they're still there today. Serving slice through the heart of Saturday night, I wish them luck and I wish them all more time but I really wish they could just hang on to the feeling.
5.
Jellyfish 03:22
Try to make a fist my little jelly fish stings like a memory that two don't share. Whatever it is there are so many ways to forget Its a wonder baby even brushed her hair Find something pretty to lie beside In the tightest corners of your mind Where I'm gonna stand on my knees again I've got the prayers if you've got the time. Two queens is a pair try to see what is not there its a dream - something more true than this nightmare we'll give you something to miss when this tiny planet finally gives in its one little kiss says you were never there Find something pretty to lie beside in the darkest corners of your mind Where I'm gonna stand on my knees again I've got the prayers If you've got the time. Cause if you've got the time then you got what's mine.
6.
I was taking a chance I'm not getting young again When I let my hands work to devour the sun again It was far too tooth and nail working for a second chance The differences I've made are forming another plan. Follow friends to the grave, sing your song for the sake of the armistice but I've got my own maze and right now I've gotta stumble out of it I slept all the way to the bank, dreaming plans for you and me so I could wrap both of our heads around how to be young again.
7.
Russian Doll 02:35
I was made to change time, change clothes, change space Holy ghosts exist in my mind they play shy, play games I was made for something to light, to get high, ignite I just want you to live in my heart. I'll lower rent and fix the door I was made for real connections. True friends on the path but from what I have intercepted, I'd silence myself to mute the mass.
8.
We give and take without a second to breath An afterthought while blindly taking the lead No rhyme or reason, no future in sight We give in now because we have no fight. I wonder where you've gone my sweet little dream flipping through pages of a dead magazine You're curly hair between your fingers again How I still feel them pressed against my skin. You've got to hand it to them, they know just what they're doing. I still can taste the kiss we shared that night but with the bitterness of our last fight between my heart and hand no bond exists When one writes poems the other takes a piss. You've got to hand it to them, they know just what they ruin. You gotta tell me baby are we ever gonna sort out this mess? I've got some reasons to believe but I've been wrong once or twice before this. Linger a little longer darling, you know happiness is a warm dress. We'll share our sins like gods and let the world we left behind confess.
9.
Little pieces of cross on the prairie Little weight of the world to carry Little faces of G-d in our mirrors Little patches of fog getting clearer. So many different ways to put the pieces together. Little pieces of fraud in my history Little poems not as were taught to me Little songs sung in a million little pieces Little effort to fold along the creases So many different ways to put the pieces together. Little was ever said of my nature Little was ever known of my future Little was ever meant of my stature Little was ever thought of my place here

about

"Those placid wells
Where children fell
To drown in neutral spirits
Or ring a bell or cast to hell
The keeping of appearance
A meandering fall which most of all
Makes men out of coherence
And the least of these
will come in threes;
To lust then to love and fear it."
-C. Smith

credits

released January 30, 2016

Recorded at Cloudland Recording Studio in Fort Worth, TX in July 2015.
Additional vocals by Savannah Loftin (Russian Doll; Happiness Is A Warm Dress)
Barks by Nova.
Artwork and illustrations by Devin Selby. Design and layout by Peter Marsh.
Dedicated in loving memory to Thomas P. Moore (1957-2015) and Frances Marie Dear Smith (1931-2015)

license

all rights reserved

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